I need you
by Lisa Boon
Summary: Josie is running away from her home to London hoping to hide from her abusive mom and dad. When she gets a job at Abby road studoes and falls in love with George Harrison how will she keep there daughter safe when her mom and dad are closing in on her?


At the end of the school day, in geometry class, twenty-five students sat with their heads bent over their work. Ms. Johnson, our airhead of a teacher, wasn't paying us any mind. Sam, the boy next to me, was busy with homework he hadn't done yesterday, so I was sure he would not notice the wad of paper I aimed at my friend Jacob. It hit him in the side of the head, and he turned to face me. I rolled my eyes then looked down, our code for: "I need to talk to you after school." He nodded. Thankfully, the bell would ring soon, so we would not have to wait long. When it did, we packed up our things as quickly as we could, the teacher yelling at us about homework assignments.  
>"Oh Josie, could you stay back a minute?" she called out.<br>I looked over at Jacob and asked him to wait.  
>"Yes, Ms. Johnson?"<br>"Parent teacher conferences are coming up next week," she said, as if I did not already know.  
>"Alright," I said, pretending I wasn't sure where this was going.<br>"Well," She peered at me through her thick spectacles. "Are your parents coming?"  
>"No ma'am. Me da is sick and me mum has to work day and night to make money. Sissy and I have to take care of the little ones so me brothers can work as well." This was the lie I told most adults.<p>

"I see." Ms. Johnson said. "Well, can your brother, William, come in instead of a parent?"  
>"Yes ma'am, if he can take some time off working at the docks."<p>

"Well," she said, "If he cannot make it, I'll have to send home a progress report with you to show your mother. How does that sound? She'll be so proud of you."  
>I smiled through clenched teeth, knowing full well that Mum would not give a damn about how well I was doing in school.<br>"Yes ma'am," I say lying again as sweetly as I could without giving myself away.  
>"I suppose that's all." She said, dismissing me.<br>"Thank you, Ms. Johnson." I grabbed my coat and hat and headed out the door.  
>Jake was outside waiting for me.<br>"What did she want?" he asked.  
>"To see if mum would come to the conferences", I replied.<br>"Oh. Well what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"  
>"Will wants you to ask your mum if you can take Michelle and Lucy for a bit, Da is getting worse," I said. My voice shook slightly as I continued. "I'm scared, Jacob. I'm afraid he's going to kill them."<br>"Of course, Josie. Though you know, mum will take all of you, if need be," he said. I smiled, knowing he was right, that his mum would take all of us in.  
>"I can't," I told him apologetically. "I need to help Will and Robert."<br>"I know you do."

He touched the faint scar that ran down my arm, the permanent reminder of the day Mum tried to kill Robert.  
>I looked into his concerned brown eyes.<br>"I…I have to go," And with that I ran the rest of the way home.

Michelle looked up when she heard the door slam.

"Josie's home!" she yelled, running into my arms as I bent down to pick her up.  
>"Hello Michelle ma belle!" I used my special nickname for her, twirling her around the room.<br>"Where are mum and da?" I asked.  
>"Out," said my sister Annie, walking in with Lucy in her arms. "Did you find a place for them?" she nodded her head towards our two little girls.<br>"Aye, Jacob said his mum would take them till we could run away." No one knew of our plan to escape, though I had a feeling Jacob figured it out.

"Well, I'm off. Duty calls. No work to do tomorrow, thank heavens." Annie sighed, passing Lucy to me. Annie did not live with us anymore; da kicked her out. She helped out as much as she could, babysitting for us while I was at school and Robert and Will were working. She even shopped for us sometimes if we were too busy to go ourselves.  
>"Okay, we'll see you soon, Annie." I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.<p>

"Thank you."  
>"Anytime, love." she said, shutting the door behind her.<br>I turned my attention back to Michelle, jiggling Lucy on my hip.  
>"So what did you do today, Michelle ma belle?"<p>

She smiled. "I went to the shops, and Annie told me stories."  
>"That's nice, dear. Michelle… I have to tell you something," I said, unable to keep it from her any longer.<br>"Right Josie, just let me put some water on, it's bloody cold in here." She filled up the kettle and put some tealeaves into a mug.  
>"You and Lucy are going to Jacobs's house for a while."<br>"Why?"  
>I looked into her confused blue eyes.<br>"Because I don't think hitting will be enough to satisfy da much longer." I said, trying to make her eight-year-old mind understand what I was not saying.

"And I don't want him to lay a finger on you."

I kept watching her, and saw that she at last understood.  
>"Okay," she said softly. The water reached a boil, and she filled up the mug and gave it to me. I smiled my thanks and took a sip.<br>"Where are we going?"  
>"I told you, to Jacob's house until we come get you."<br>"I meant after."  
>"I…" In truth I had no clue, but I couldn't let her know that.<br>"London," I said, remembering that mum had a sister living there who might help us.  
>"We have to get supper on the table, Will and Robert will be home soon." I<p>

I said, quickly changing the subject. We got up and hurried to start supper.  
>Cold cuts, bread with some margarine scraped across it, and our usual milk and tea. Not exactly gourmet, but for us it was as good as a feast.<br>By the time Will and Robert were home, the table was set and the house was somewhat clean.  
>"'Ello," I said, giving them each a hug and a kiss. "How was work?"<br>"Long." Will said, hugging me tightly. "Where's Mum and Da?"  
>Michelle and I looked at each other. "Out," I said as Will washed and dried his hands. "We'd best be careful tonight."<br>"Don't worry," I said, handing him his plate.

"Oh, Ms. Johnson wants you to come in for conferences." I tried not to roll my eyes.  
>"When?" he wanted to know.<p>

"Next Wednesday, I think."  
>"Hm… I'll see what I can do, but I can't make any promises."<br>"If you can't, I'll bring home my progress report."  
>"That'd be just fine." said Will, as he took a sip of tea.<br>I smiled as I looked at my family.  
>Will at the head of the table where Da should be, surrounded by Robert, Michelle, Lucy and me.<br>I realized just how much we all relied on each other when Mum and Da went out drinking.

Later that night, after Michelle and Lucy were asleep, Will and Robert went downstairs to work on something in the kitchen. I retreated upstairs to give them some peace. I looked in the bathroom mirror, and I saw an eighteen-year-old girl who has seen things that no one should ever have to see. Rosa, the seventh child in our family, was just two when Da slammed her against a wall after he'd been drinking too much. She died because of the injury to her head. I could not get there in time to protect her; Robert had almost died in the attempt. He ran to Rosa, and, not recognizing him, Mum took hold of the poker next to the fireplace and started forwards drunkenly. I ran in front of him, and the blow cut my arm from the elbow to the wrist. Will and Robert got me out of the house, managed to stop the blood, and told me never to do something dangerous like that again. I told them I wasn't promising anything of the sort. It's a wonder the rest of us are still alive, or that no one even investigated the situation.  
>I took my eyes away from the mirror when I heard a something breaking with a huge smash. "Mum and Da must be home," I thought, fretting over where to hide until they sobered up and left again. I hurried to the bedroom and tossed blankets over Michelle and Lucy. I heard Will saying something to Robert, who soon ran into the room.<br>"Josie!" he said wildly. "We need to get out of here NOW." He crossed over to the window and looked down. We were up on the third story and to get to the fire escape, extreme acrobatic moves would be necessary.  
>"Shit!" he said looking over at the fire escape in a panic.<p>

Outside the door were the sounds of Will arguing with our parents. Robert grabbed a walking stick and began banging it on the ceiling, hoping someone upsairs would hear. Following his lead, I stuck my head out the window and screamed for help. But no one heard. Just then, the door was thrown off its hinges, and Will and our parents burst inside. Da was holding a gun and I could smell whiskey on his breath.  
>"Oh dear god," I whispered.<p>

"_No_." Robert said. Thinking fast, he launched the walking stick at Da's head, most likely hoping he'd drop the gun. It worked; the gun slipped to the floor and slid under one of the beds, out of sight. At that point, my instinct to survive kicked in. I grabbed Lucy, who was crying her eyes out, and handed her to a terrified Michelle. "Get out of the house. Run; go to Jacob's. GO!" I bellowed at her. She hesitated, and then scampered quickly out of the room. Da had gotten to his feet. He made a grab for Michelle as she ran by with Lucy, but missed and rounded on me. "Josie, ya good for nothin' brat!" he slurred. He flung himself at me and I felt his hands tighten around my neck. I had no time to react, all I knew was that it would soon be over, as my airway began to constrict.  
>"Get… off…me!" I choked, trying to grab his fingers. He tightened his grip and blackness threatened to over come me. I heard faint sounds of thudding feet around me, and Will and Robert's roar of rage. And then I heard no more.<p>

There was a buzzing in my ears, and something soft beneath me. I felt a cool wet cloth on my forehead. "What happened?" I tried to say, but it came out as a groan. There were voices surrounding me, but I couldn't distinguish a word of what was being said. Finally, with some difficultly, I opened my eyes and the bright light stung them harshly. I blinked, realizing how sore my body felt. Then it all came back in a rush. The events of that terrible night flashed before my eyes: Da with a gun…Will and Robert trying to fight him off as he was strangled me.  
>"Where are Will and Robert? Where did they go? Did anyone die? What happened to Michelle and Lucy?"<p>

"Calm down, Josie." said a quiet voice nearby. I turned my head, and there was Robert and Will in the doorway with Lucy and Michelle. Jacob sat next to me holding the washcloth that slipped from my head as I sat up.  
>"Lay down." Jacob said, pushing me back on to the pillows.<br>"What happened?" I asked. "How did we get out?" Michelle climbed up onto the bed and hugged me.  
>"Robert and Will brought you here." Jacob said gently.<br>"We thought you died," said Will, his face stark white.  
>"Because I was unconscious?" I asked.<br>"Not just that," said Will. "Josie, lift the blankets and…take a look." I did and found that I had white gauze wrapped around my waist. I cringed as I felt the soreness of my ribs.  
>"Oh." I said, understanding what must have happened.<br>"What are we going to do?" asked Robert.

"We'll have to make our way to London." I answered.  
>"How are we going to get there?"<br>"Hitch-hike, of course. How else?" piped up Michelle.  
>"Aye, fair point. When you get better we'll start walking… and see what happens." said Will uncertainly, absentmindedly stroking Lucy's curls.<p>

Within a week, I was well enough to move around without being supported. We stocked up on food and extra clothing, packing a small rucksack each. We sent Annie a telegram explaining the situation. She was saving her money in the hopes of one day being able to immigrate to America. Annie wanted to see us, but was hard at work and couldn't come to London. She sent her regards and that was the last time we ever heard from her.

Jacob came to see us off on the road south leading to London.  
>"Good luck." he said. He shook hands with the boys and gave Lucy and Michelle hugs.<br>"Be careful," he said giving me a hug and a gentle kiss on the cheek. He gave me an envelope with something written on it.  
>"Open it when you get to London." he said, and then left. I found myself staring almost longingly after him.<br>"Come on, Josie," said Will, tugging at my sleeve with a knowing look in his eye. His tone became less mocking and more sympathetic. "We'll come back someday."

I looked at him and nodded, and then turned my back on the only place I knew, my home.  
>Getting to London was not that hard, we found a friendly truck driver more than willing to give us a ride. Will made up a cover story: We were going into London for the week to visit our cousins, and couldn't take the train, as we were a bit low on money at the moment. The tired, careworn look about us sold the story to him in no time. It took us a while to find out where Maggie lived, it turns out she'd moved the year previously to the other side of London. Will pulled some spare change out of his coat and counted it, then looked up in dismay. We didn't have enough for a single piece of bread from the shops, let alone the required fare for underground transportation. So we walked some more. Finally, after walking the streets of London for the better part of three hours, I stared timidly up at the door, the other panting exhaustedly behind me. I knocked.<br>"Coming," a voice said. The door opened to reveal a lovely woman in her late twenties or early thirties.  
>"Yes?" she asked confusedly, as if trying to figure out why two little girls and three shabby young adults would be standing on her front steps. "Look, if you're going to drop off the little ones, the orphanage is four blocks down that way." she said, quickly trying to shut the door.<br>"We're not looking for the orphanage," said Will in a panic.  
>"We are looking for a Miss Maggie Simon," I said, praying this would catch her attention.<p>

"That would be me," she said opening the door a little wider.  
>"My name is Josie Anderson," I said "Me mum was Elisabeth Simon."<br>"Oh my good god!" Maggie said, clutching at her heart. She threw open the door and ushered us inside. I exhaled in relief.  
>"I thought you were dead." She let us in to the kitchen and set a kettle to boil.<p>

"My sister wrote to me for a while about you, and always said lovely things. She was so excited, especially for her Josie, she said her Josie had a good brain and she was going to college…always so proud. But then…then the letters started making less sense, all she ever mentioned was that she needed money…she needed money for her liquor. She started saying the most terrible things about her children. She said she'd be rid of them soon, that I should just wait and see, she'd be rid of her children." Her voice was hollow and she kept on looking at us like she was afraid we were going to disappear. "I tried to find you. Went up there me self and couldn't find your house. I've been out of my mind fretting about you children."  
>"Miss Simon…" Will started saying.<br>"Please call me Maggie. I am your aunt, boy!"  
>"Okay. Auntie Maggie," Will began again.<p>

"We ran away just a little while ago because mum and da became mentally unstable…and we needed to get out, more than one of us nearly lost our lives. We have nowhere to go. We came here... to ask for your help."

"You want to stay here?" she asked.  
>"Yes ma'am," I said. "If you'd be willing to take us in. See...we've no money, and nowhere to go. We're rather stuck. "<p>

She smiled.  
>"You're my family! As far as I'm concerned, you are my responsibility now. I have plenty of room in this house; consider it your new home. Fate has brought you, quite literally, to my doorstep."<p>

I shivered and coughed. Maggie looked at me anxiously.  
>"Are you quite alright, Josie?" she asked.<br>"I'm fine, Auntie" I replied. "I was just wondering if I could rest…I feel as though I may collapse." I tried to keep my voice steady, I could practically feel the energy leaving my body.  
>"But of course, I'll show you to your rooms!" she said, getting up quickly. We all followed. I stumbled slightly, and had to grasp the edge of the table to get regain my balance. I closed my eyes till the room quit spinning. When I opened them, everyone had left the room, so I hurried out to find them. They were at the top of the stairs; Auntie Maggie was showing Will and Robert one of the extra rooms where they were to sleep.<br>Michelle cocked her head at me.

"Something wrong, Josie?"

Without warning, I bent forward and started coughing and spluttering. Robert's eyes widened, and he hastened to pat my back, trying to help me ease the coughing. Maggie hurried to me and felt my head.  
>"You feel like an oven!" she exclaimed, steering me into the room beside Lucy and Michelle's.<br>"I can get there by me self!" I said faintly, nettled. I blinked, looking around at the neat, peach colored wallpaper. Maggie lay me down on the bed. She rummaged around and found my nightgown folded in the rucksack.

"My god!" she exclaimed as she gently removed my shirt. Scars littered my back and arms.

"You've been through the mill, Josie."  
>"My legs are just as bad," I said, shivering in the cold air. She pulled my nightgown over my head and helped me into bed, then went to the bathroom for a thermometer.<p>

"Here, lets see how high your temp is." she said, easing it into my mouth. I closed my eyes and fell into a fitful doze. When I awoke, Auntie was next to me reading "A tale of two cities" aloud quietly. Her soft Liverpudlian accent reminded me strongly of home.  
>"I like that book," I said.<br>"Do you, now?"  
>"Oh yes, Jacob and I would take turns reading it out loud to each other."<br>"That's nice," she said. "How are you feeling?" I thought for a moment.  
>"Better. Much better."<br>"Good. You up for some breakfast, love?"  
>"Yes ma'am. Just let me get dressed." She left, and I got out of bed and looked around for my bag. There was a big cherry wood wardrobe, which matched the desk and the bed's headboard. This room was nice, much nicer than our old one back home. This was the first time in my life having a room of my own, at Mum and Da's all us girls were crowded into one small bedroom. None of us minded much, but looking around at my new room, I had to admit it was nice to have my own space. I found my things in the wardrobe along with a letter. I suddenly remembered Jacob handing it to me, with the instructions: "Don't open it till you got to London."<p>

I got dressed in a hurry, slipping the letter into the pocket of my jumper to read later. I hurried downstairs, but then realized I didn't know my way around. After trying a few doors, I found the kitchen. Maggie and Lucy were the only ones in there.  
>"Hey Lucy girl!" I said, picking her up and giving her a hug and a kiss.<br>"The others are out back in the garden," said Maggie. "Why don't you take her out there."

She handed me a mug of tea and some toast. Balancing the mug on the plate, I took Lucy by the hand and slipped out the back door.  
>The garden was quite large, with trees and flowers all over. Lucy led the way over to the brick wall at the edge of the yard where everyone was gathered.<br>"Morning," I smiled.  
>"Mornin', Josie." said Robert, pulling up a chair next to him.<br>"What are you lot talking about?"  
>"Thinking of jobs," said Will. He sounded stressed.<br>"Sounds like fun," I said sarcastically.  
>"Very," Will rolled his eyes at me.<br>"Where are you thinking of working?"  
>"Well I don't know, maybe at a place where they need someone who can lift things…like on the docks." Will answered vaguely.<br>"I'm going to try my luck at the shops," said Robert. "What about you, Josie?"  
>"Oh, a maybe a record shop." I said, thinking of the idea on the spur of the moment.<br>"Good plan, that is. You've always been one for music." said Will.  
>"Right then, tomorrow's job hunting day." Robert smiled.<p>

Later on that afternoon, I got some time to myself to open Jacobs's letter. 

January 10, 1964  
>Dear Josie,<br>I hope you got to London all right, and found your auntie. I wanted to tell you something when you were healing up at my place, but I was scared it'd be too much of a distraction. Well, here it is: I love you, Josie, so much. I'd do anything for you. I don't expect you to feel the same way about me, but I needed to let you know.  
>Much love,<p>

Jacob.

I read the letter twice to make sure I understood it correctly. He loves me. He LOVES me. Oh wow. I closed my eyes and smiled. I felt a twinge of guilt, because to be honest, I'd always thought of Jacob as my brother, nothing more, and I did still. But all the same, I couldn't help but feel flattered as it sank in: someone other than my family loves me.

The next morning, bright and early, Will, Robert and I left the house to look for work. I applied at a few record shops and a restaurant, just in case they'd be willing to take me on as a waitress. I was looking around for other possibilities when a fancy car pulled up. Four young men with odd hair, just long enough to cover their ears, jumped out and ran inside the building I was standing in front of. I got swept along and burst inside of the doors along with them. Inside was a long white corridor, which was carpeted from wall to wall in an ugly green color. The men didn't seem to notice me. I turned around to leave, but through the heavy door I could hear what seemed like the sound of a huge crowd of girls screaming hysterically, and there was much pounding on the door. Frightened, I stayed where I was.

One of the young men realized there was an extra person in the corridor. "Hey!" he yelled. "What are ye doin' in here?" He grabbed me by the arm.  
>"Hey, let go of me!" I shrieked, kicking at him.<br>"George, let 'er go!" said another young man nearby, loudly.  
>"Please, sir!" I stammered as he continued to pull me to the door. I had a sudden flashback:<p>

I was six, and da had been drinking all day and most of the night. He came home and said that he had a present for me. I was a little apprehensive, so I did not go to him right away. He did not like that, so he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me to the door of the bedroom and pushed me inside, and then locked the door. He asked if I was a good girl, because only good girls got presents. I said I was, and he smiled drunkenly. He unzipped his fly and pulled down his pants. Before I knew it, I was lying on the bed and he was on top of me. I begged and pleaded with him but he pretended he did not hear. I screamed, but he slapped my face and told me to shut up. When it was done, he told me it would be the end of me if I ever told anyone.  
>End flashback.<p>

So, you can imagine what went through my head when a man grabbed at my arm in that corridor.  
>"PLEASE," I yelled. "Please don't. I beg you, please don't!" I dug my heels into the carpet and fell down trembling.<br>"Woah there, calm down. Girl, what's the matter?" the man asked. I did not respond, I was crying too hard and chanting: "I'll be good, don't hurt me," over and over. Someone came over and sat down beside me, watching me fearfully. After a few minutes, he got up and I heard whispering. I looked up and saw the shortest of the lot, the one with deep-set blue eyes, had come forwards.  
>"Easy miss," he said, holding his hands palm side up. "We won't 'urt you none."<br>I have never trusted men with the exception of Jacob, Will and Robert, but for some reason I trusted this one. I looked up and saw the others nod, and I knew somehow that none of them would hurt me. I nodded and he squatted on his heels in front of me. He asked me why I was crying, and my story just spilled out.  
>"So we ran away to London to get away from mum and da," I said. "I'm just trying to find a job, I'm sorry if I disrupted your day." I finished finally.<br>"You're looking for a job?" asked the man who grabbed me.  
>"Yes sir," I said timidly.<br>"Well miss, there's a job opening for some help here at the studio if you'd like to apply for it,"  
>"Oh, that would be wonderful," I said drying my eyes on a handkerchief that one of the boys gave me.<br>"No problem." answered the one next to me. "Name's Richard, but most people call me Ringo," he said, holding his hand out for me to shake.  
>"Josie." I said taking it and allowing him to pull me up.<br>"The people here are me band mates. That's George."

The skinny, dark haired man who'd grabbed my arm was leaning against the doorframe. He waved at me.

"Sorry again, Josie."

I smiled, forgiving him tentatively.

"That one there's John." The one with the thick Buddy holly framed glasses put down his coffee, and then bounded forwards with a huge grin, and shook my hand vigorously.

"And …"  
>"Paul McCartney," A young man with enormous brown eyes and a boyish face winked at me from across the corridor.<p>

"Nice to meet you all!" I smiled round at them.

I suddenly realized that the pounding on the door and the voices had died down.  
>"It's safe!" I said, relieved.<br>"Well, that's good" George said placing a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and glared at him, still apprehensive.  
>"Sorry!" he said quickly, removing his hand. I could tell he meant it, too.<p>

"I got you a job application…"  
>"Oh, thanks," I said.<p>

"Well I'd better go, see you around." and cautiously I left.

Once outside, I looked around and then at my watch. I still had a while until I needed to meet Will and Robert, so I window shopped for a while and stopped at a bookshop and began to browse for a bit. I found a book on music and began to read. It opened a new world for me; one that I was only too happy to get lost in. When I looked at my watch again, I realized I was late. I flew out of the store and ran up the street trying to find them. After about five or six minuets, I found them smoking ciggies on the curb at the end of the road.  
>"Hi, sorry 'm late. Lost track of time." I apologized.<br>"That's fine," said Robert "Did you find a job?"  
>"I got an application from a band."<br>"I see," said Will. "Let's go home and fill out all these applications, then." He held up his own to show me.  
>Once we got home, Will slumped tiredly in front of the telly, and Robert left to find Maggie and the girls. I decided to start filling out my application. It asked for previous musical history. I did not have any musical history unless you counted the time I got first place in the North England talent show. I put that down, hoping it would be good enough. The only sound for the next few minutes was the scratching noise of my pen moving across the paper. When it was done, my application looked something like this: <p>

Name: Josie J. Anderson  
>Age: 18<p>

Musical history: Sang at the North England Talent contest, finishing in first place.  
>Favorite Music: Buddy Holly, Elvis, and Little Richard. Rock and roll in general.<br>Why you'd be an asset to this job: I love music, I'm also hardworking and enthusiastic.

I finished up and put it away for tomorrow, and then stretched and went downstairs to help prepare sandwiches.

"Ms. Anderson?" said a dangerously soft voice behind me.  
>"Yes Mr. Seth?" I asked.<br>"I told you to fetch the paper on my desk and post it this morning!" he yelled.  
>"Sorry sir," I said. I grabbed the paper and hurried to mail it.<br>It was my third week on the job and already I was tired of it. When I'd sent in my application, the position had already been filled, so I took the only other job they had to offer: the secretarial duties. I took it, grudgingly. The pay wasn't bad, and this way I would at least get my foot in the door.

Wandering around during my lunch break, I walked into a room that was a sight for sore eyes: there were three beautiful guitars along one wall, and a piano against the other. In between was a set of drums.

I took a guitar, staring at it in wonder. It was just so _new_.

"To know know, know, know, him- is to love love, love, love him..." I sang softly. I quickly became immersed in the music. When I got done, I heard applause coming from the doorway. I whipped around, and there was George and the rest of them standing there, listening to me.  
>"Oh, I'm…I'm sorry." I stammered, putting the guitar back on its stand and quickly getting to my feet.<br>"That was good Josie," said George. "_Very_ good"  
>"Thanks Mr. Harrison…I mean George- I mean…" I trailed off.<br>"Join us for lunch? " George asked.  
>"Oh no…I can't." I said. "I need to get back to work."<br>"Tomorrow, then, I insist." said George, winking at me "When does your lunch break begin?"  
>"Noon sharp," I answered, flustered. I hurried out.<p>

The next day while I was putting away papers at my desk, two friends I'd made named Maureen and Judy came over to me, smiling and giggling.  
>"So," Maureen whispered. "I hear you have a date with George."<br>"No," I said "He asked me to lunch. But Paul, John and Ringo will be there as well, so it's hardly a date!"  
>"Whatever you say," she said mischievously. "What do you think of Paul? Is he not the dreamiest person ever?"<br>"He's okay," I said, slightly uncomfortable now.  
>"Oh," Judy said, "Which one do you like, then?"<br>"No one, not yet anyway" I said.  
>"Paul has a nice bum," remarked Maureen.<br>"Maureen!" Judy said, shocked.  
>"What? He does!" Maureen said. "And those eyes…" she trailed off with a faraway look in her eyes.<br>"Yer both awfully weird," I said, laughing. "And I'd best be off, or I'm going to be late."  
>"Good luck!" said Judy in an annoying sing-song voice.<br>"Tell Paul I love him!" squealed Maureen. I rolled my eyes and hurried out the door.

The boys took me to a quiet restaurant nearby, and told me stories of their childhoods in Liverpool.  
>"So then I told me aunt Mimi to watch and see that I became famous with this guitar of mine." John said. "And that I did." He finished proudly.<br>"You showed her!" I grinned, taking the coca cola Ringo handed me with a nod of thanks.  
>"So," George said, looking at me with interest. "What about you?"<br>"What about me?" I asked, confused.  
>"How did you learn how to play guitar like that?"<br>"Oh, well my friend Jacob had one and I taught myself using it."  
>"How often did you get to use it?" asked Paul.<p>

"Twice a week, at the least."

Paul whistled. "Bloody 'ell, yer a natural, you are."  
>"Thank you," I told him.<p>

"Damn, if I don't go now I'll be late getting back," I said, glancing at my wristwatch.

"I'll walk you back," George suggested as the bill was paid.  
>"That's alright," I said. "I can walk me self."<br>"No, I'll come" he said, holding open the door for me.  
>When we got back, I turned to George.<p>

"I had fun, thank you for taking me out to lunch," I said, smiling and turning to go back into the studio.  
>"We had fun, too" John piped up from a few feet behind. I hadn't realized the others had been following us, and from the startled look on George's face, neither had he.<br>"Well, see you tomorrow," I said and left.

Over the course of the following month, George gained a steadily increasing interest in me. He started walking me home after work every day, and his face lit up inexplicably each time he saw me. Finally he asked me out. He took me to a nice little French restaurant where they played cheesy 1940's love ballads like "Day by day", and "Some enchanted evening".

When he dropped me off, he asked if I'd like to go dancing at a club with him next weekend.  
>"Oh yes!" I said.<br>"Okay, I'll pick you up at 8:30 PM on Friday night." He kissed my hand and left.  
>Will was waiting up for me.<br>"Have a good time?" he asked.  
>"I did," I said. "He's going to take me dancing next weekend."<p>

Will smiled.

"Sounds fun." 

"Oh, he likes you!" Maureen squealed the next day. Judy clapped her hands in delight. "Do you like him?"  
>Saying anything wasn't necessary; my grinning and blushing face answered the question well enough.<p>

On Friday night, I stood by the door excitedly, waiting for George. I was wearing tight blue jeans and a black blouse aunt Maggie had lent me. My long chestnut brown hair was neatly brushed, and I'd dabbed on some light gray eye shadow and clear lip-gloss. At 8:30 sharp, the doorbell rang.  
>There was George, wearing his leather jacket and a broad smile. "Ready to go?" he asked. I could feel his eyes looking me up and down.<br>"Yes," I said grabbing my coat. I stepped out, closing the door behind me.

The music in the club was deafening, the dance floor crowded with people dancing.  
>"Come on, Josie!" George pulled me out onto the dance floor me and we started to swing dance. After about an hour or so we went to get drinks.<br>"Two scotches and cokes," he said. When they came, we toasted to our second date. I was definitely not used to drinks that were this harsh going down, but I drank it anyway and got another. By the time we were done I felt pleasantly buzzed; and we went back out and danced to one last slow song before going home.  
>"Maybe you should come back to my place and spend the night," George whispered, kissing my neck. I shivered slightly.<br>"Come on, Josie," he whispered, leading me out into the night and into his car. He leaned over and pressed his lips against mine. My heart was pounding. He drove quickly to his house and led me in and up to his bedroom. George wrapped his arms around me tightly. I leaned back, pinned against the wall as George continued to kiss me.

"I really like you, Josie…"

He began taking off his shirt as well as mine. He picked me up and placed me on the bed, then climbed in beside me, caressing me with his hands.

"Have you ever done this before?" he asked me.  
>"No," I whispered.<br>"I'll be gentle, then," His lips brushed against my throat unbearably softy, and I moaned aloud, unable to stop myself. He laughed softly and kissed my breasts. He stroked the inside of my thighs, and looked intently into my eyes. I nodded my permission…

Several minutes later, we were both panting and pushing damp hair out of our faces.  
>"You're good for a beginner," he told me, and I smiled.<br>"Thanks," I giggled. He wrapped his arms around me and we fell asleep.  
>A month later I missed my period.<p>

"Maybe you're not!" said Judy, ever the optimist.  
>My stomach clenched painfully, and I threw up the up the remainder of my breakfast.<p>

"Want to bet?" I gasped.  
>"Okay…so maybe you are," she said.<br>"Are you going to tell him?" asked Maureen.  
>"Yes, I am. Right now." I said, and walked out to find the boys. They were sitting around waiting for Mr. Martin. George was in a conversation with Ringo when I came up behind them.<br>"Er, George Hun…can I talk to you?" I asked.  
>"George Hun," John mouthed at us scathingly. George raised his middle finger, and John turned away cackling.<br>"What's up?" he asked.  
>"I'm pregnant." I said, getting right to the point.<br>"Wha'!" he said his eyes wide.  
>"I'm pregnant," I said. "George, what on earth are we going to do?"<br>"There's only one thing we can do," he said, taking my hand.

"What's that?" I asked. "I am NOT having an abortion!"  
>"Abortion, who said anything about abortion? Aw love, I'm talking about getting married," he said.<br>I looked at him, and I knew it was the right thing to do.  
>He got down on one knee.<p>

"Josie Jean Anderson, will you please become Josie Harrison? Will you be my wife?"

"Oh George!" I said. "Yes, yes of course." I pulled him up to my lips and kissed him lovingly.  
>"Oi, Josie, can we have our lead guitarist back?" asked John from across the room. I smiled and gave George one last kiss.<p>

That night at supper, I broke the news.  
>"I've got something important to say."<p>

Everyone looked at me.  
>"What is it?" asked Maggie, looking slightly concerned. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.<br>"I'm pregnant and I'm getting married." I said.

There was a stunned silence.  
>"You're what?" spluttered Robert.<br>"I'm pregnant, and I'm getting married," I repeated.  
>"You're pregnant?" Maggie asked faintly.<br>"Yes, I'm so sorry if I've tarnished your name," I said. "Will, Robert… I'm sorry if I'm a disappointment to you."  
>"Don't be silly, Josie."<p>

There was a pause.

"Who by?" asked Robert finally.  
>I gave a small smile.<p>

"George Harrison," I said. "He knows and I'm marrying him."  
>"When is the wedding?" asked Maggie.<br>"Next week, I think. We spoke to Brian Epstein, and he says the sooner and more quietly, the better."  
>"You'll need a wedding dress," said Maggie "I'd fix up my old one for you, Josie, but you can't wear white. White is…the color that represents purity. Forgive me," she said apologetically, "I think you ought to wear blue. It'll bring out your eyes. I can whip you up a dress in no time."<br>"What are you talking about?"  
>"You need a wedding dress, Josie!" she said.<br>"Oh, well I was planning on wearing jeans."  
>"Josie, over my dead body are you wearing a pair of JEANS on your wedding day. No, you'll have a nice dress, I'll see to that. We'll take your measurements tomorrow."<p>

"Thanks Auntie Maggie. I'd like you all to be there. You'll come, won't you?"

"Of course we will!"

"Who's the best man?" asked Will.

"Paul McCartney."

Michelle felt my stomach.

"Josie, you're going to have a_ baby_!" she squealed.  
>I grinned as I realized she was right. I was actually going to have a baby...I could hardly believe it.<p>

Finally the day arrived. Maggie had fixed me a beautiful dress. Navy blue silk, strapless, with a little puff of navy blue taffeta around it and it was gorgeous. Robert stood beside me, staring up at the registration office. He kissed me on the cheek and told me he was proud of me, and we went inside. Paul was there along with George who smiled hugely upon seeing me. We went in, said our vows, and kissed quickly.

George drove us to his house, now our house, in his car. There was no reception as he had to work and I needed to find a new job. Mr. Seth fired me when he found out I was pregnant.  
>"A pregnant girl is bad for business," he said and slammed the door in my face. Because of George's wealth, I no longer really needed to work, but I still wanted to. I needed to fill my time with something other than cleaning and cooking.<p>

I finally found one a few months later while out shopping for maternity clothing, I was four months along and I had just got done with a check up with the doctor, who told me the baby was a girl. I was waiting for the bus when a lady came up to me and asked if I had ever thought of becoming a model.  
>"No," I said. "Why do you ask?"<br>"Darling, my name is Mary Quant and I run a very successful clothing business targeted towards young ladies. I need someone to model maternity clothing for me, and you are just perfect. Please take my card; my phone number is on the back. Think it over and call me when you've decided." She patted my arm and walked off, just as my bus came. "Josie Harrison, model." I thought. I liked the sound of that.

"No" George said. It was later that evening, and I had just brought up what Mrs. Quant told me about being a model.  
>"George, quit trying to control me," I said. "I want to go back to work, I miss working," I continued. "Besides, it will just be till the baby's born, then I'll quit."<br>"Okay, fine." he grumbled. I kissed him happily.

"Right then, Josie," said Mary. "You can come out." It was my first day on the job and they put me to work modeling summer dresses, even though it was fall. When I asked why, she told me: "Because, darling, people want to know what's going to be in next year. "I nodded, examining my dress. It was lime green, and fancier than I was used to dressing. I wore white sandals on my feet.  
>"Lovely," said Mary "Turn to the left… now the right… beautiful!" The camera clicked away.<p>

Later on I got the mail, it was mostly fan mail for George but there was one addressed to me. I looked at it, realizing it was from Jacob. Smiling I opened it up.

July 12, 1964.  
>Dear Josie,<p>

How are you? I'm fine. I hear you have a bun in the oven, congratulations. I got a job working at the docks during the day, and as a waiter at night to help pay for college at the Liverpool Institute of Art. I'm going to be coming to London on the 14th of August; maybe we could meet up somewhere? Got to go. Give me a ring some time (151)-456-8888.  
>All my love,<br>Jacob.

I made a mental note to get back to him, excited to introduce Jacob to George.

That night, as George and I were getting ready for bed, we started discussing baby names.  
>"Barbra?" George suggested.<br>"No…it sounds to preppy," I said.

"Aggie?"  
>"Have you gone round the bend? She'll get teased something dreadful!"<br>"Fine...Monique?"  
>"Hm…Monique." I repeated.<p>

There was a pause.

"How about Monique Ann?" I suggested.  
>"Monique Ann Harrison." he said. "I like it, do you like it, Monique?" he asked my bulging stomach. I winced.<br>"What, is it time?" his eyes nearly popped out of his head.  
>"No!" I laughed. She kicked me, it feels like she's playing football in there." I said.<p>

"I think she likes her name."

He smiled and kissed me. "I love you, and Monique." He told me.  
>"And we love you." I answered.<p>

Over the next few months, we prepared Monique's room and chose baby clothes for her. George was wonderful, giving me backrubs, and cleaning the house when I could not.

January 4, 1965. I'll remember that date forever. John, Paul and George where goofing off with their guitars in the room next to mine, and I heard the Paul playing the loveliest song. When he was finished, I burst into the room crying, and hugged him.  
>"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard," I sobbed into his shoulder. Here I was, a pregnant hormonal nineteen-year-old crying my eyes out, and Paul obviously had no idea how he should react. He patted my back, looking nervously over at George. Once I calmed down, I asked him what it was called.<br>"Yesterday" he replied.  
>I wiped the tears from my eyes and excused myself, hurrying into the kitchen.<br>Suddenly, I felt something wet between my legs.  
>"Oh <em>shit<em>," I thought.  
>"GEORGE!" I yelled. "George, get in here NOW!" I gasped and put a hand to my lower back as pain surged through it. John ran in and slipped in my water. It would have been comical if I weren't so scared. Paul jumped over him and helped me up as George ran to get the car. John grabbed my overnight bag, either not noticing or caring that his back was dripping wet, and both him and Paul helped me to the car, and we sped off to the hospital.<br>When we got there, Paul got a doctor to help us and George took my hand. I squeezed it so tightly that he winced in pain, but it was nothing to what I was feeling! Finally the doctor helped me into the delivery room, where George and the rest were not allowed in.  
>"Okay, Mrs. Harrison" said the doctor. "You are not ready yet, so just breathe. We need to wait till you are 11 inches dilated and you are only 8."<br>'Like hell I'm waiting!" I screeched." This baby is coming out now!" and I started to push.  
>"NO Mrs. Harrison!" said the doctor "Calm down, you are at 10, only one more inch to go."<br>"Push, Mrs. Harrison, push!" the doctor said, and I did.  
>"OW. GEORGE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" I yelled, and gasped for breath.<br>"And again," said the doctor.  
>"OH MY GOOD GOD, GEORGE."<br>"One last time!" I gave it all I got, and I heard a wail from little Monique. Smiling a tired smile, I closed my eyes. I heard the boys whooping outside the door. "Josie's done it!" one of them yelled, John I think.

Hours later, I woke up to see George holding Monique, looking as though he was not especially sure how to hold a baby.  
>"Look," he said, once he saw that I was awake. "Look at our beautiful, perfect, healthy little girl."<br>"Hello my little angel." I whispered, kissing her tiny head. She touched my hand with hers, and fell asleep in my arms.

The next day, we where released from the hospital and as promised I stopped modeling, at least for a few months.

Two months later, I cooked George's favorite supper and sat by him as he tried to write something, humming under his breath as he strummed the guitar. Monique was in her crib, asleep.

I watched him nervously. I needed him in a good mood for what I was about to ask.  
>"George?" I asked tentatively.<br>"Yes, Josie?" he said, looking at me.  
>"I want to go back to modeling, Mary said she'd love to have me back." I said.<br>"What did you tell her?"  
>"I told her I would."<br>"Call her back and say no, I'll provide for this family," he said.  
>"I'm sorry George, but no, I want to model. I won't throw my life away just to make you happy." He pushed me towards the door, hard.<br>"Then you can go!"

Tears streamed down my face as I ran out, slamming the door behind me. I rushed to the car and drove off. I didn't know where I'd go…I just drove. Soon I found myself outside Ringo's house. The two of us had never been very close, but maybe it was time for that to change. I really needed someone to talk to, and he was the first person that came to mind. I walked up to the door and knocked. His wife Maureen answered it.  
>"Hi, Josie!" she said. Her smile faded when she saw my face.<br>"Come in for a cuppa and we'll talk," she said briskly, leading me into the kitchen.  
>"He p-p-pushed me," I said as the tears came.<br>Ringo came in and asked me what had happened.

"We got into a argument about whether or not I should go back to modeling. I told him I wouldn't quit just to make him happy, and he pushed me and told me to leave."

Ringo patted my hand and Maureen gave me a hug.  
>"It'll be alright, love." she consoled me.<br>"You think?" I asked.  
>"Yes," Ringo said. "George likes having a stable house, the way his was in Liverpool. He was the only one of us with an easy childhood. The rest of us are from broken homes. Paul's mum died when he was fourteen. John's aunt Mimi raised him, and just as he was getting to know his mum, a car hit her and she died as well. Me dad left when I was a baby, and the doctors thought I was going to die. I was a sickly child; see.<p>

George on the other hand, had a dotting mum and a father who had a steady job as a bus driver. His mum came to our gigs at the cavern all the time, always ready with cups of tea and beer when we were done. In his family, his father was the breadwinner. Now…times are changing, Josie, George just needs to figure that out."

"You can spend the night here, if you'd like," offered Maureen.  
>"Thanks," I told them, and let Ringo show me to one of the guest rooms.<br>I crawled fully dressed into bed and stared up at the ceiling. Finally, I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

The next day I found a flat for Monique and I, and I told Mary that I was going to be modeling again. I found someone to watch Monique during the day, and settled into a routine.

A few weeks later after, I picked Monique up from Maggie's house and came home. George was there, waiting outside my door.  
>"Josie, I'm so sorry," he said, his brown eyes swimming with tears.<br>"George." I said. I opened the door, stalked inside, and put Monique down on her cot. I turned to face him.

"Get out."  
>"Josie," he pleaded.<br>"NOW." I slammed the door in his face, and leaned against the wall, my eyes shut. I missed George, and I hated myself for it.

Suddenly, I heard his voice from the other side of the door, singing softly.  
>"You don't realize how much I need you. Love you all the time and never leave you. Please come on back to me, I'm lonely as can, be I need you."<p>

I heard him sigh, and listened to his footsteps as he trudged down the hall. And then he was gone.

One day, George called me; sounding frightened. "Josie! Maggie, Michelle and Lucy were in a bad car crash."  
>"Oh god," I whispered, clutching the phone tightly in my hand. "How bad?"<br>"I don't know, please come home and we'll go to the hospital." I grabbed Monique, and we headed off. We picked up George and sped of the hospital. I ran in and up to the reception desk.  
>"Did a Michelle and Lucy Anderson and a Maggie Simon get admitted here?" I asked frantically. "I'm Maggie's niece and the girls' sister."<br>She nodded, calling for a doctor. After what seemed like ages, one finally came.  
>"Miss-" he began.<br>"Mrs. Harrison" I corrected him.  
>"Mrs. Harrison," he said gently. "I'm sorry but your aunt and sisters are dead. There's nothing more we can do. Your brothers are saying their goodbyes right now.<br>"NO," I screeched, "You're lying! They can't be dead…"

"Josie calm down!" George tried to put his arms around me.  
>I ran in, and Will and Robert looked up. Robert was bawling his eyes out, his hand reached out to touch- "NO!" I wailed, as my eyes fell on Lucy's still figure.<p>

"Mrs. Harrison, please stop shouting!" the doctor said. I turned and hit him across the face. Just then, another doctor appeared out of nowhere, and I felt a syringe being pushed into my arm. The room began to spin, and I felt someone come over and hold me as darkness over.

When I woke up, I was back home in bed. George was next to the bed in a chair, asleep. I stretched and looked around; the shades were drawn and the lights where off.  
>"They're gone," said an annoying voice at the back of my mind. "They have gone and left you, just like you left them," said the voice.<br>"I did not leave them." I argued.  
>"Don't try to deny it," the voice said. "You wanted out, and George Harrison was the way out."<br>"Oh, be quiet," I told it, and put a pillow over my head.  
>"You know it. You've been a terrible person, Josie."<br>"SHUT UP!" I yelled out loud, and George woke with a jolt.  
>"Josie." He said. "You're awake." He kissed me softly on the cheek and I broke down crying.<br>"Shh, it'll be okay, love. Let it all out."  
>"Its my fault." I sobbed. "I should have never left them, I said I'd protect them and I didn't."<br>"You had no way of knowing this was going to happen."  
>"Still." I cried. We sat there for what seemed like ages, George rubbing my back as I sobbed bitterly. Monique's shrill cry finally captured our attention. "I'll get her," George said swiftly, and came back a few moments later with our daughter.<p>

Two days later the funeral was held. Will and Robert both gave short speeches, but Will broke down when he started talking about Michelle. They'd always been especially close. To her he'd been a father figure, taking Da's place in her heart. Robert led him back to his seat, both of them crying quietly. Next it was my turn.

"I'm not very good at this, so please forgive me. There's so much to say about Michelle, Lucy and Maggie, and I don't think I'm ready to go through all of it. Instead I've written a song for them, and I'd like to sing it if you don't mind. I grabbed my guitar and began to sing:

"Can you fix this? It's a broken heart.  
>It was fine, but it just fell apart.<br>It was mine, but now I give it to you,  
>you can fix it, you know what to do.<p>

Let your love come over me,  
>like a pair of angel wings.<br>You were my family.  
>You were my family.<p>

We stand outside in the summer rain,  
>Different people with a common pain.<br>A simple box in that hard red clay.

Not an awful lot to say.

Let your love come over me,  
>like a pair of angel wings.<br>You were my family.  
>You were my family.<p>

The children who shined just like stars,  
>the lady who helped heal our scars.<br>In the lonely house left to us all,  
>we are no longer standing tall.<p>

Let your love come over me,  
>like a pair of angel wings.<br>You were my family.  
>You were my family."<p>

When I finished, everyone was quiet. I got down off the platform walked down to where Will and Robert were standing.

"That was beautiful," said Robert simply. I hugged them both and then ran to George, who was standing with Paul, John and Ringo. George wrapped his arms around me as I cried quietly. 

That evening I sat in the living room alone, thinking. Will and Robert had decided to go back to Liverpool, and George was to escort them home. He'd taken Monique up for the weekend to see his parents at the same time. He hadn't wanted to leave me by myself, but going back to Liverpool would be too painful. I decided to stay home, and had insisted George go anyways.  
>"They're not coming back you know. And it's all your fault," said the voice in the back of my mind.<p>

"Please, not now," I told it.  
>"Know what you should do?" it said." Jump out the window, jump and it will all be over." As if in a trance I set my cup of tea down and walked over to the window and opened it up. The wind blew my hair around I stood up on the ledge of the window gripping the side, I took a deep breath and-<br>"Josie! What on earth are you doing?" someone called up to me. I looked down at Ringo, livid.  
>"Go away, Ringo!" I said.<br>"Josie!" he yelled. "Do NOT jump out that window!"

He ran into the house and up the stairs, and burst in shaking and white faced.  
>"Take my hand," he said, moving to me slowly and extending his hand. I looked at him.<br>"Please Ringo," I begged. "Just go."  
>"I can't." he said "Take my hand, Josie" I extended my hand to him and he pulled me in.<br>"Don't you ever do that!" he yelled "Do you hear me?"  
>"Fine. What are you doing here, anyway?" I asked.<br>"George asked me to check up on you," he answered.  
>"I don't need someone checking up on me" I said, nettled.<br>"Said the girl about to do herself in," he snapped.  
>"Well I'm fine. You can go." I told him.<p>

"No, I'll call up Mo and tell her that you are coming back to our house," said Ringo.  
>"I'm not going to your house." I said.<br>"It's either that, or I stay here." he said.  
>"Fine, I'll go." I told him.<br>He followed me into the bedroom and watched me put some clothing into an overnight bag.  
>"So," he said, trying to make small talk. "Care to tell me why you were about to jump out the window?"<p>

"No."  
>"Alright, you can tell me when you're ready."<br>"I'm done, lets go." I led the way out of the room, down the hall and out the door. Ringo put my bag into the car, and we drove off.

"Oh, Josie." Maureen said, running over to hug me. "I am so sorry about what happened to your family, come inside and I'll get you something to eat. Ritchie, can you get her bag?"

She pulled me into the house.  
>"Look Mo," I said. "I really appreciate all this, but would you mind if I just went to bed? I'm dead tired."<br>"Sure," she said, showing me to my room.  
>Ringo gave me a quick hug.<p>

"It'll be okay, Josie," he said "If you ever need to talk, we're here."  
>"Thanks Ringo."<p>

I walked down the dark hallway, rushing to get to the door at the very end. I threw it open, and saw George's lifeless body on the floor.

"GEORGE!" I screamed. "George no, come back, come back!"

I shook his shoulders.

"He's gone," said the self-destructive voice at the back of my head.

"He's gone and it's all your fault, sending him off to Liverpool by himself."

"NO! GEORGE NO!" 

I sat bolt upright in bed, covered in a cold sweat. I looked around wildly.

Ringo poked his head in the door.

"Are you alright, Josie?" he asked.  
>"Fine. Just a nightmare." I shivered.<br>"Are you sure?" asked Maureen.  
>"Yes, I'm fine."<br>"Well…okay." she said, and left. Ringo looked at me, I was still shaking. He came over and put his arms around me.  
>"Ringo?" I asked.<br>"Mm?"

"This is going to sound really childish…but do you think you could sing me a lullaby?"

He smiled.

"Well…I'm no expert on lullabies, can't play many of those on me drums. But there was this was song on our last album, one of John and Paul's obviously. I found it quite soothing…Let me just see if I can remember the words." He began to sing, gently.

"If I fell in love with you  
>Would you promise to be true<br>And help me understand  
>'cause I've been in love before<br>And I found that love was more  
>Than just holding hands<p>

If I give my heart to you  
>I must be sure<br>From the very start  
>That you would love me more than her<p>

If I trust in you, oh please  
>Don't run and hide<br>If I love you too, oh please  
>Don't hurt my pride like her<br>'cause I couldn't stand the pain  
>And I would be sad if our new love was in vain<p>

So I hope you see that I  
>Would love to love you<br>And that she will cry  
>When she learns we are two<br>cause I couldn't stand the pain  
>and I would be sad if our new love was in vain<p>

so I hope you see that I  
>would love to love you<br>and that she will cry when she learns we are two.  
>If I fell in love with you" <p>

My eyes closed, and I felt myself relax. Ringo pulled the covers up around me and whispered goodnight, and then he left. I slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

The next morning, I woke up to the smell of coffee and something else that I couldn't identify, but it reminded me of George. I opened my eyes and there he was, gazing at me affectionately. "Morning, love," he whispered.  
>"Morning," I mumbled. This was a nice dream. I closed my eyes again.<p>

"Josie?" George said. _George said_.

"George!" I cried, flinging myself into his arms.

"Josie…Ringo says he found you about to commit suicide, and that you woke up screaming in the night. What's wrong?"

"I've…been having nightmares, and hearing a voice, in the back of my mind. It says terrible things…things that aren't true, but that I can't help believe." I began to cry, ashamed.

"Shh, it's okay, Josie." he said, kissing the top of my head and trying to calm me down.

"Josie, love, how long have you been hearing these voices in your head?"

"Since the funeral." I said hesitantly, as I got up and headed off to take a shower.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, following me into the bathroom.

"Because I didn't want you to worry. Can we please discuss this later?"

George sighed. "Fine," he said, and left.

I took a long shower, put on a bathrobe that Mo lent me and walked out into the bedroom. I slipped into a simple red plaid dress, and went down to the kitchen for breakfast.

I found George and Ringo at the table speaking in hushed voices. Mo stood at the stove frying eggs, and Monique was sitting at the other end of the room, drinking her milk from a bottle. George and Ringo stopped talking the minute I came in, so I assumed it was something about me.

"Morning all," I said as cheerfully as I could, and gave Monique a kiss on the cheek. I poured myself some tea and loaded it down with sugar. "What are you talking about?" I asked innocently.

"You." Said Ringo, rolling his eyes.

"Look Josie" Said George "I think you should go to see a psychologist"

My spoon slipped from my hand and clattered against the table.

"Why? I don't need to see a shrink."

George exhaled. "Josie, I think you do."

I turned to Ringo, hoping he'd back me up.

"I'm sorry, Jose, but I agree. You need some help, you're in a lot of pain and that's understandable."

I turned back to George. "We'll discuss this at home," I said, my tone icy. He dropped it quickly but gave me a look.

I dressed Monique in her coat and hat, and thanked Ringo and Maureen for everything.

"Any time," said Maureen warmly.

"See you, Rings," George smiled. He turned to leave and I followed him out with Monique.

The ride home was silent, and George kept on looking at me. When we got home, George turned on the television and set Monique on the couch beside him. I walked into the kitchen and started going through the mail. There was a lot of fan mail for George, bills and a letter for me. I looked for the return address, but there was none. I opened it up and my heart nearly stopped.

"They…they found me." I whispered, reading the letter aloud.

"Dearest Josie,

You thought you could leave us and start a new life? Think again. We know exactly were you are. You've been a bad girl, Josie. And bad girls need to be punished.

Thinking of you always,

Mum and da."

Next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor.

"Josie!" George exclaimed. "Josie, can you hear me? Are you okay?"

"George…what happened?"

"You passed out!"

"Oh…"

"Josie…what just happened?"

"It was the letter. Where's the letter?"

"What letter?"

"The letter from my parents, I was just holding it!"

"Josie, love…there was no letter. You passed out before opening any of the envelopes."

"I swear there was a letter from mum and da, George. I'm not making this up, there was."

George looked at me, and I could see the concern in his eyes.

"Okay, I believe you. Lets see if we can find it."

We looked all over, and I was forced to realize George was right. There was no letter.

"George, I saw it! I opened it and I know it was here!" I said hysterically.

"Josie…we're going to the psychologist tomorrow. Please don't argue with me, I'm scared for you."

I nodded weakly.

"George…have I gone mad?"

"You're not mad, Josie. You're under a lot of stress, and you need a doctor."

I nodded again, but I didn't believe him. Something was wrong with me; I just knew it.

The next day, I sat in the psychologist's office and answered the questions he asked me. "I raised my little sisters with the help of my brothers since as long as I can remember." I said.

The doctor scribbled something in his notebook.

"That must have been a tremendous pressure, trying to get through school while helping to run a family."

"A little," I admitted.

"How old were your sisters, when the car crashed?"

"Lucy was four, and Michelle was nine." I said quietly. He scribbled that down too.

"Well, Mrs. Harrison, that's all the time we have for today."

I shook his hand and shrugged into my coat, and then I walked out the door.

I decided to stop at the grocery store for some apples, so I'd be able to make a pie. George would like that. I'd begun loading apples into a sack when I heard a familiar voice.

"Well if it isn't Josie Harrison!"

I whirled around.

"Pattie Boyd!" I exclaimed. She wiggled her fingers at me, so I could see the ring that glimmered there. "Pattie Clapton, sorry," I giggled. I hugged her tightly. Pattie and I had modeled together before Monique was born. She had an outgoing personality that I loved, and she'd been like a sister to me. We hadn't spoken in months though, given everything that had happened. She smiled. "Oh Josie, would you come over to have supper with Eric and I tonight? It's been too long." I returned her smile.

"I just need to talk it over with George, and see if we can get someone to watch Monique."

"Give me a ring when you get home. Do you remember how to get to our house?"

"Of course!"

"Good, speak to you soon, then."

"Bye now!"

We walked off in opposite directions, both of us smiling broadly.

As soon as I got home, I told George about Pattie's invitation to have supper with her and Eric.

"I'd love to go over there tonight, Josie, but I just came home to take a quick nap. I'm off to the studio, and I'll be there till late."

"Oh," I said, disappointed. "I'll tell her we have to reschedule, then."

"Oh no you don't," he said. "We'll get a babysitter for Monique and you go enjoy yourself."

"You sure?" I asked.

"Positive." He told me. "You," he said, kissing my neck, "need," A kiss on the jaw. "A break." He kissed my lips tenderly.

I smiled and kissed him back, as he ran his fingers through my hair. We clung to each other as pressed me up against the wall. Our breath was coming out ragged and fast. "Josie," he murmured between kisses.

I moaned.

"Yes?"

The phone rang, and George groaned in frustration.

I grabbed it, laughing to myself.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, Josie, it's John. Will George be here soon?" I looked over at George, who was grabbing his jacket.

"He's just heading out.

"Alright. Bye Josie."

"Bye," I said, hanging up the phone.

I gave George a last kiss, and then he walked out the door.

After George left, I called up Pattie and told her that I was going to be the only one coming because George had to work late. Then I found a babysitter for Monique and headed over to Pattie's, where we spent an enjoyable evening catching up.

Two months later, I was in my kitchen having tea with Cynthia Lennon. George walked in with the mail.

"Would you mind going through it, Josie? I have to shower and then I'm off. I'll be back for supper."

"Okay," I smiled. I began to sort through the envelopes. A terrible feeling of dread suddenly filled me. There was a letter addressed to me…and it had no return address. I opened it with shaking fingers. The paper read:

Dearest Josie,

We know all about our darling granddaughter, and nothing you can do will stop us from seeing her. We have big plans for little Monique. Her mummy needs to be punished.

I expect we'll be seeing each other every soon.

-Mum and da

I gave a soft gasp, and my cup of tea spilled everywhere. Cynthia looked up at me.

"Are you alright, Josie?"

"No…Cyn, I'm sorry but I think I should go lie down, I feel ill. Could we maybe continue this another time?"

"Yes, of course," She shrugged into her coat and patted my shoulder.

"Feel better, and call me if you need anything."

"Yes, see you soon…"

In a daze, I walked into my room and took out my old battered suitcase, and began to pack. I had to run away and never come back. I was putting everyone in danger by staying here. Part of me screamed in opposition to what I was about to do. "No, don't leave! You imagined the letter. This has happened before…Josie stop it right now." But I wouldn't listen to common sense. I was in a panic and I needed to take action, as soon as possible. I finished packing for Monique, and myself, and then started thinking of what to do.

That night I lay wide awake in bed, going over the plan in my head. I needed to get my hands on some money from my account so that Monique and I could start a new life, somewhere where mum and da would not find us. We'd go to America, choose a quiet place, a small town. The most important thing, though, was to hide this from George. I needed to leave; I had to keep him safe. I lay still as my mind raced for the rest of the night. I didn't sleep a wink.

The next morning, I told George that I was taking Monique into Scotland for the weekend, as she'd ever been before and I wanted her to see the countryside. I explained that I needed some time to myself, and that I'd see him in a few days.

"Okay," he agreed. "See you this evening." He gave me a quick kiss, and then left. My heart ached…I missed him already.

A few hours later, I had Monique in the car along with all of our bags, and we hurried to the airport. When we got on the plane, I looked out the window, gazing outside for a last glimpse at my birthplace. I said goodbye to England, to my home…to the life that I was leaving behind. The plane took off, and a tear rolled down my face. Never, in my entire life, had I felt more alone.


End file.
